All My Days
by Eskarina272
Summary: AU in which teenaged Kaidan Alenko meets a new friend- Jane Shepard, member of the Reds.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I really, really like reviews. Just so you know._

_[begin transcript]_

_"Shit. This is stupid._

_I'm so pissed at you, you know that, right?"_

_[sigh]_

_"I wish you were here. You're the one person in the world I can talk to but you're..._

_God damn it. I miss you. I've tried to tell you so many times. You have no idea how many times I tried to write you but I just...I mean...what the hell am I supposed to say? What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry? I'm not. I was right and you damn well know it. That I trust you? I don't. Not anymore. I can't._

_But fuck...that doesn't mean I don't love you. I wish I could stop._

_I miss you."_

_[sigh]_

_"This is a waste of time."_

_[click]_

_[end of transcript]_

It all started when Julia Lachar invited Kaidan to watch the Post Apocalyptic Lions perform in concert. It wasn't that he particularly liked the Post Apocalyptic Lions or that he even knew what they were (some band? with guitars maybe?), it was that Julia Lachar was the hottest girl in his class who he had been pining after for god only knows how long and she was asking him if he wanted to go see the Post Apocalyptic Lions.

Hell yes, he wanted to see the Post Apocalyptic Lions. With her, he would watch grass grow, paint dry, and any other cliche boring activity you could think of.

The problem was in actually getting to the concert. He had a car, but if he were to peel out of the driveway and head for downtown Vancouver at ten o'clock at night his parents would throw a shit fit. Really, he decided very early on, it would be better if they never even heard anything about the Post Apocalyptic Lions. Instead he told them he was staying at his friend Matt's house, and Matt's college aged brother would be paid twenty dollars to field any calls from the Alenkos and lie to them. From there they could take Matt's car.

It was Kaidan's first time attempting to be rebellious and he was more than a little nervous. As he and Matt slipped out the back door and shut it behind them, his stomach flip flopped. Still, the thought of Julia Lacher beckoned him towards the city lights. Lately, the news had been spouting some reports of gang violence in the worst parts of the city and the concert venue was smack in the middle of it. But Julia Lacher was planning to be there so Kaidan threw his usual caution to the proverbial wind and hopped into the car.

When they arrived there, meeting Julia and her two friends Terry and Britt, in the long line into the venue.

"I'm thirsty," Julia complained. She sighed, "it's gonna be like, an hour at least before we get in. Someone wanna go get us drinks?" She glanced meaningfully at Kaidan and before he really registered what was happening he was being loaded down with drink orders and sent to a gas station on the corner. Matt tossed him keys with a pocket knife attached and he set off for the corner market.

He stopped and looked at Julia, "you wanna come along? It might be fun?" The thought of walking to the corner market with Julia made his mouth go dry but she half shrugged. "It's...you know...kind of dangerous. We'll save your spot. He set off feeling happy enough though.

He was on his way back when he ran into trouble. From the shadows a figure stepped out holding a gun and, for the first time in his life, he felt the cold metal of a gun against his skin. "Stop there kid."

He didn't need the instruction, the gun had been enough. Another figure appeared in front of him. It was aboy not that much older than him, but more muscular. He was tall and he spoke with deadly confidence.

"Wallet."

"In my back pocket," Kaidan said. He started to reach a hand towards it and the guy nodded. "Don't try anything."

Kaidan's fingers brushed against the leather of his wallet but he was shaking and dammit he didn't know if he'd be able to grip it.

"Aw, c'mon!" Another voice pierced the air, this one female. At first Kaidan thought it must be talking to him. He jumped, wondering for all the world if he had been shot, but he was still breathing. "Haven't you guys figured up this is Reds turf yet?" The voice continued. "Or are you just a fuckin' moron?"

The gun was no longer pointing at Kaidan and he let out a deep breath and turned slowly. Down the alleyway, the woman was holding another gun, he could see the way the moonlight glinted off the barrel. Her face and body were otherwise shrouded in the dimness of the alleyway. His would be mugger and her were watching each other.

"Don't come any closer."

"Or what?" The girl said, "you'll shoot me? Before I shoot you? ya sure?"

The man hesitated. The girl chuckled. "Now turn your ass around, tuck your tail between your legs, and get the hell off Reds territory. We can both walk away."

Kaidan saw the figure behind the girl and he tried to say something, but words, apparently, weren't working right now. The girl stiffened and sighed. "You bastard."

"Drop the gun."

She sighed and did as she was told, kicking it towards him. Kaidan met her eyes and she raised an eyebrow. The message was clear. For the first time, Kaidan realized no one was looking at him right now. He took a tentative step towards the gun. It was five feet away. He took a deep breath and glanced at the girl again. She was being directed towards a wall.

"What do you think we should do with this one, huh?"

The girl looked from one man to the other and swallowed hard. The first man put his gun in the waistband of his pants and stroked her cheek. "She's a pretty one. What's your name sweetheart?" His other hand wandered down her neck, towards her breasts.

She spat. The glob of saliva ran down the man's face. He punched her. The girl stumbled to the side and nearly fell, but made no sound.

That was the moment Kaidan decided to act. He snatched the pistol up and aimed it, suddenly thankful to his father for taking him to the shooting range. "Stop." Both men were distracted for a second, but that was all the girl needed. She surfed foreward, headbutting the gunman and snatching his weapon. She pivoted and brought a knee into the other man's crotch. He bent double.

"C'mon." The girl grabbed his arm and ran two strides before he caught on and followed her. She ducked down a corner and he followed her. He wasn't sure how long they ran, but by the time they stopped he had lost all sense of direction. She bent double, breathing deeply and when she straightened he saw she still had a bloody nose from where she had gotten hit. She grinned and he found himself returning it.

"Shepard," she said, holding out a hand.

He shook it, "Kaidan Alenko." He furrowed his brow, "I remember you."

She studied him for a moment and then nodded, "yeah, from school. Holy shit, that was a long time ago." She smiled at him and he noticed she had freckles. "What's a rich guy like you doing in this part of the town?" She rubbed at the skin under her nose, trying to remove the blood and felt her nose gingerly. As he watched her, all thoughts of Julia Lacher vanished. He realized he prefered freckles and redheads to brown eyed bruenttes.

One look, that was all it had taken, all it would ever take for him to be pulled into her orbit.

"Want to go get something to eat?"

As it turned out, Kaidan was feeling a little hungry.


	2. Chapter 2

Kaidan Alenko had indeed met Jane Shepard before the incident in the alley.

It was the spring he was ten, just before school let out for the summer. He was, at the time, considered a strange and quiet boy by most of his class. Perhaps it was the way his father too often was gone, leaving him on the docks of the spaceport with the same instructions every time. "Take care of your mom, soldier. You're the man of the house 'till I get back." He took it seriously. He grew as fast as he could to fit the responsibility of being an adult. At the time, he still wore it like his father's military uniform. When the house was empty he would sneak in and put it on, rolling up the sleeves and pant legs and observing himself in the full length mirror, it was over sized and baggy and he still hadn't mastered the at of walking in the shoes, his father had big feet. The brim of the hat dropped over his eyes if he didn't hold his head just so.

She was tiny for her age and leaning against the side of a basketball hoop watching him. Her wide green eyes watched his sandwich like a hawk. Years late he'd be able to see the way her bony legs stuck out from the denim shorts that were too baggy and covered with dirt. Her shirt was equally dirty. A picture of some hopelessly style-less cartoon character grinned out at the world. It was a strange contrast with her expression, tight and fearful. Her lips were pressed tightly together and turned ever so slightly down. She looked, he thought, half ready to either fight or flee.

He took another bite and glanced at his second half of a sandwich at his side on the bench still wrapped in a plastic baggy. It was his favorite, salami and cheese, but her eyes watched it with such intensity he found himself asking, "Hungry?"

She nodded and walked over, even then she had a way of glancing from side to side as she walked, as if she were always expecting an attack from somewhere. He held the half sandwich out to her and she snatched it as if he might change his mind. She must have eaten it, but perhaps she had done so without chewing. All he remembered is that she was holding it, and then it was gone.

"Thanks," her voice was quiet, almost unintelligible over the after school exuberance of the school children. Kaidan nodded, "no problem." He held out a hand. he had started shaking hands young, imitating the way his father would envelope his own soft hand in his two leathery ones.

"name's, Kaidan Alenko."

He knew her by reputation alone. A month ago her mother had come to remove her from school, and, according to Sam Doherty was really drunk. He said she had barely been able to walk straight and she kept shouting about wanting her baby. Kaidan thought he might be lying when he said she punched the aprincipal in the eye though. Two police officers had come to remove her from the school. Everyone knew who Jane Shepard was. The girl chewed on her lip nervously as she glanced at his hand. He held it there for a long time before she shook it and said her name.

She sat down on the bench beside him. "Is your mom-"

Jamie's hands closed into fists so tight her knuckles were white. Kaidan changed the direction of the sentence. Jane's hands clenched into fists and he changed the direction of the sentence, "is that who you're waiting for?"

Jane relaxed. "Yeah."

"I'm waiting for my dad."

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, "did your dad really fight in the first contact war?"

"How did you-"

"I was walking to the bathroom and I heard you telling someone in the hall," she sounded almost bored. "I hear everything." Her eyes suddenly sparkled, "did he ever see a turian? Do they really all have tattoos on thier faces? Do thier voices really sound all funny?" Her hands gestured wildly as she showered him with questions. Too often he found himself telling her he didn't know. It wasn't that he wasn't curious, it was more that the idea of being an alliance officer, just like his father, while appealing in concept, had little practical meaning to him. He wanted to grow up to be just like his dad, what kid didn't? Especially when your dad was a war hero, or at least that was how Kaidan thought of him. Still, he liked her questions, especially when she asked him if he had ever been on one of the alliance ships and he told her all about the time his dad had taken him to see the SSV Trafalgar last summer. She listened wide eyed, rapid firing questions whenever he paused for breath.

He was in the middle of that story, when her mother called her. Jane turned and grinned and rushed towards her mother. Kaidan remembered her from the infamous cafeteria incident and she looked similar now, dressed in skimpy clothes despite the cool breeze. She was young, little more than a teenager, and the grin she gave her daughter almost split her face in two. It wasn't until he was older that Kaidan would be able to look back in his memories and see her bloodshot pupils or trace the scars on her skin.

From that day on Kaidan Alenko and Jane Shepard were if not friends. At least conversation partners..

Eating with Jane after school and waiting for their parents became a ritual they observed on days they were both present. They were both outcasts. Her mother was strange and she was poor and dirty and always late when she arrived at school at all. He was too mature for school, constantly fighting to be the man his father asked him to be. In some ways, she seemed the same way. When she was quiet and simply looking out into nowhere there was a maturity on her face that he suspected exceeded even his own.

Jane's most common questions were about his dad. She wanted to know what the spaceport was like, if his dad had ever let him on a space ship, if he had ever met an alien; he answered as best he could and she could always convince him to give a little more detail.

"Why do you want to know all this?" He asked her once.

She half shrugged, "I wanna go someday. It's got to be better than what's down here."

"How do you know?"

"I just know. It just has to be, ok?" Her hands were in fists again, a sure sign she was upset. It was better to agree with her than risk her temper. It always seemed to be there, simmering just below the surface.

Kaidan wasn't sure why he avoided mentioning her to his parents. It didn't seem like a good idea, that was all. She was different. She was his secret. It seemed better to keep her to himself. His mother simply assumed his appetite had grown and started lacking him two sandwiches. Growth spurts, she had told him. He didn't argue and Jane ate the extra.

She wasn't at school often. As the school year wore on her absences became more and more frequent. When she did come to school sometimes she was there until long afterwards. He would leave her sitting on their bench and waiting. Other times there was a man with her mother. Kaidan didn't ask a lot about him, he didn't like the way Jane looked when he did.

One day it wasn't her mom, just the man. Her mouth twisted to the side as she watched him.

"C'mon Jane."

Kaidan cringed, there was something loud and harsh about his voice. Jane's eyes narrowed. "Where's mom?"

"Busy. get over here."

Jane shook her head. "M'waiting for mom."

"She ain't coming." The man crossed to her in two long steps and grabbed her upper arm. "Now c'mon, or your going to be in trouble when we get home."

Jane's expression fell and she moved back. When the man released his grip she followed him away. Her shoulders were stiff and she didn't look back. The next day she came to school with a black eye. "Get in a fight?" Kaidan asked.

"Kinda."

"What happened?" He pressed.

Jane glanced away and sighed, "I lost."

"Was it your dad?"

She was two inches from his face in the blink of an eye, face contorted in rage, "he isn't my dad." She backed away, sighing again, "that's just Brad."

"But," Kaidan said, "did he hit you?"

Instead of answering Jane sat down and said quietly. "Someday I'll be stronger." Something in her voice made Kaidan sorry he had pressed her at all. He changed the subject.

And then, just like that, the school year was over. He saw her once that summer, sitting alone on a swing in the playground. It was almost sundown. He wondered how long she had been there, but he didn't stop to ask.


	3. Chapter 3

_[begin transcript]_

_You remember that one time we met? In that alley? You were going to that stupid concert with some girl and then we almost died._

_You were the best thing to happen to me in a long time. Everything sucked and then...there you were. Like some kind of miracle._

_That war. My first. Goddamn. I woke up every day expecting to die. I was so scared, and so alone, and then there you were. And when I was with you it was like, everything could just be better for a little while. Can we go back to that?_

_I got your e-mail. I hate that damned doctor. I miss you._

_I don't like it Kaidan. Every time I meet someone, they've moved on and I stayed the same. I miss the Normandy. I miss you. You said once you'd always be there for me..."_

_[end transcription]_

Kaidan called Matt on the way to assure him he was alive.

"You do realize Julia is asking where you are, I mean, the bands gonna be out any second."

"Yeah, I just...I met an old friend."

"Your skipping out on Julia? What's she look like."

Kaidan turned crimson and glanced out of the corner of his eye at Shepard. "Good. I-uh-I need to go."

"Don't do anything stupid."

"I think I'm going to head back to my house after." Kaidan figured one gun held to his head was more than enough excitement for be night. Jane had shaken it off quicker than he had. It had been a while before he was capable of doing more than leaning against the wall and taken deep breaths. Jane had eventually settled herself next to him with a ciggerette until he was more capable of conversation.

When hung up the phone and glanced at Shepard. She was smirking, "just good, huh?"

He brushed a strand of hair out of his forehead. "You heard that?"

"I got the general idea." She nodded towards a diners. "Bernie's makes some killer hamburgers. You want?"

"Sounds good."

Under the bright lights of burger joint Kaidan had a better oppertunity to see what Jane Shepard had grown to look like. Red hair hung to her chin. It looked as if she had chopped it herself, but she pulled it off with stylish messiness. Her eyes were as green as he remembered. She was still skinny, but now she also had a muscular look about her.

"Does my face look ok?" Jane was attempting to see her reflection in the slate back table of the diner. She glanced up at him.

Her nose was swollen, but not obviously broken, and her eye was bruised. Still, Kaidan couldn't imagine anyone looking better. "It looks fine."

Jane touched her nose gingerly and winced. She looked skeptical for a moment and then shook her head. "So...uh...thanks for saving my ass back there."

Kaidan shrugged, "if you hadn't shown up when you did..."

Shepard shrugged, "they probably would have taken your money and kicked you around a bit. Nothing too bad. I wouldn't have been able to get the advantage if you hadn't grabbed that gun"

"Nothing too bad," he repeated, "right."

"Hey," she caught his eye, "they didn't get you today. That's the most important thing, right?"

Kaidan wondered what happened to shape a person so that thier idea of "the most things" included surviving until tomorrow. When the waitress came over she ordered sodas for them. He noticed the tattoos going up her arm: an elaborate dragon that wound around her bicep. A few months ago his parents had given him the obligatory concerned parent talk on this sort of thing. They had wanted to know if he had any friends with marks like that. Shepard caught him staring and flexed. "You've got to have family out here." She took a sip of her drink, "so what's a kid like you doing on this side of town?"

After almost being mugged and physically assaulted it was more than a little embarrassing to blurt out the whole story. Jane shook her head and laughed, "you came for a concert? You all could have gotten yourselves killed."

Kaidan rolled his eyes, "sounds like something my mom would say."

"Says the boy who had a gun pointed at his head not an hour ago. Sounds like maybe you should listen."

Kaidan sighed. She did have a point. "What about you?" He asked.

"My mom died a few days after the last time I saw you."

"Oh," he wasn't so sure what tomsay after something like that. "I'm sorry."

Shepard shrugged, "it was five years ago. I take care of myself these days."

"Is that why you joined a gang?"

She didn't meet his eyes. Instead she touched the tattoo. "yeah, I guess that's one reason. Everyone's got to have someone watching thier back."

"Yeah," he conceded, "but where were they tonight?"

Jane glared. "Don't try to talk about what you don't understand."

Thier food came and they dug in. Shepard was silent and Kaidan sensed he had crossed a line. "Yeah, sorry." He said finally. Shepard shrugged and glanced up from a her plate. "S'fine. Your dad still in the alliance?"

And just like that they were off on the same old subjects. She asked questions, her base of knowledge had obviously grown since the last time they had spoken. When he asked her about it she pulled a couple of books out of her back pack: A Turian Anlalysis of The First Contact War, and A Short History of Human Spaceflight. "Haven't had that much time for reading, though."she admitted sheepishly as she stuffed the paperbacks back into her back pack. He would later find out she carried nearly the entirety of her possessions around in there.

"Yeah," Kaidan said, "I've heard about that." A dozen news headlines his parents had muttered with concern over crossed his mind in a moment's time.

Jane frowned, "wasn't our fault. They killed some of us. Some of my friends."

"I can see why you want to leave earth."

Jane leaned forward, "If I make it to eighteen, I'm outta here. Just watch, I'm gonna be somebody."

The fire on her eyes made Kaidan believe that what she said was true. She was so passionate how could she not be whatever she wanted to be? The door swung open and Jane glanced around, her expression changing to one of wariness. She stood, "we need to go. I'll make sure you get home."

She reached for her back pocket but Kaidan set down his credit chit first. "I'll get it."

Jane hesitated and then nodded, "then we're even? From the alley?"

Kaidan half shrugged, "fine."

They left, he noticed that Jane kept her head half ducked and once they were through the store she cast a nervous glance behind her. For a moment she was every bit a vulnerable, scared teenage girl then she half smiled, "where do you live?"

When he told her she whistled, "damn, the alliance must pay pretty well."

He shrugged, for the first time feeling awkward about living in a nice neighborhood. He felt suddenly awkward in his name brand clothing. She shrugged it off though and they spent the next half hour walk talking. At any other time he might have griped about having to be walked home by a girl, but he had watched Jane take down two men and stick a stolen gun n the waistband of her jeans, any hit to his ego was already said and done.

"So," she said as they neared his block, "you're a math and science kind of guy, you like electronics, you planning to leave this shit town someday too?"

Personally, Kaidan had always liked Vancouver. It was home. There was plenty to do. He had contemplated joining the alliance, like his father had, but that had been long ago when he was still a child. He shrugged, "haven't decided yet. I'll probably go to college first."

"Oh."

"But yeah," he said impulsively, "of course I'll join the alliance."

Jane grinned. Kaidan would always remember that night as a night destiny had guided both of them. Looking at that smile, he knew he would do anything to see it again. Anything for a moment they were outside his house and face to face with the moon light shining down on her face and reflecting off of those emerald eyes and he had the wild urge to tell her that he already knew he was going to follow her into space or heaven or hell or wherever else she decided to go.

"Maybe we'll be on the same ship," Jane said.

"Or we could get posted ground side on some colony."

"No," Jane said firmly, "we'll go see a dozen places. Meet some aliens. You and me."

"Ok."

"It's a plan," Jane said and broke the gaze first. She glanced at the house. "Where's your window?"

He pointed towards the second floor on the right and she studied it a moment. She studied it for a moment and nodded, "I could probably climb that tree up to it."

So began the most memorable summer of Kaidan Alenko's young life.


End file.
